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Adding Tension to your Manuscript

12/6/2021

30 Comments

 
by Ana Siqueira
I want to tell you how to add tension to your manuscript. Oh, no! I can’t tell you that.
It’s against the rules.


I must show you, right?


Let’s start with a sweet and silly story about a carrot-eating bunny. (This is not my WIP! hahaha)

Spread 1
Bunny Jeo gobbles up sweet carrots.
When the floor shakes.
And he hears…


Spread 2
BOOOM!
Jeo trembles.
FART!
Jeo gags.
STOMP!
Jeo hides.


Spread 3
It’s a Monster Carrott!!!

Now let’s investigate some techniques used in these spreads.
​
Technique 1: Page-turner
TV shows often end with a cliffhanger, to reel you in and keep you coming back for more. Will the bad guy catch the good guy? Will the princess fall in love with the prince? Will the rabbit gobble up the monster?

So you must hook your readers with a question.
Ending a spread with but, when, then, or even ellipsis will pique the readers’ curiosity.
They won’t be able to stand it. They must…

TURN THE PAGE!!!
​

​Now that the reader is hooked, let’s keep them curious and a little nervous too.
​

Technique 2 - Short sentences
​Short sentences full of tension will hook your readers and engage them in the story.


Compare -
  • The sweet bunny is eating carrots when he hears a boom, smells a fart, and hides from heavy steps.
 
  • BOOOM!
          The bunny trembles.
          FART!
          The bunny gags.
          STOMP!
          The bunny hides.

Long sentences are good to slow down the pace. Short, snappy sentences add tension and mystery. But don’t forget to use the page-turner to heighten things even more.

On spread 2, readers will feel the need to TURN THE PAGE because they must find out who is doing all that stomping. 
Technique 3 - Onomatopoeia and Senses
If you’ve read comic books, you’ll have seen lots of sound effects, right? Pow, Kaboom, Zap, Crash! Words like these immediately grab your attention. Sound effects, onomatopoeias, smells, visions, or any senses can involve readers. And if readers can hear, smell, taste, see, or touch but they don’t know what…Ta-Da! They will…
TURN THE PAGE.
Technique 4 - Show, Don’t tell
Of course, we all have heard and been annoyed by this message - Show, Don’t Tell, but…
[page turner]

Compare:
  • The bunny gets nervous, nauseated, and scared.
  • The bunny trembles. The bunny gags. The bunny hides.​

​Technique 5 - Why do they Care?
These are a few techniques you can use to add tension to your manuscript. But remember, the most important way to get your readers hooked is to make them feel. If we really feel for this bunny and cheer for him, that will keep us hooked. So, make sure your character is likable and readers care about them. And also, one more annoying question…

What is at STAKE?

Will the Monster Carrot say he wants to be his best friend and they go play in the garden? - Probably not that tension-packed, right?

But maybe the Monster Carrot does want to be the bunny’s best friend, but the bunny is really scared of the monster. - Higher stakes

What if the Monster Carrot tries to gobble up the rabbit? - Huge stakes.


So,


Choose what is at stake.

Make your readers care.

And force them to…

Turn the page!

And if they
OHHHHH! Shout.
Pound, pound! Feel.
Hahaha! Laugh.

You got them HOOKED…

FOREVER! (just an exaggeration for tension purposes, of course!)
Picture
Ana Siqueira is a Spanish-language elementary teacher, an award-winning Brazilian children’s author, and a published author in the Foreign Language educational market. Her debut picture book is BELLA’S RECIPE FOR DISASTER/SUCCESS (Beaming Books, 2021), Her forthcoming books are IF YOUR BABYSITTER IS A BRUJA/ CUANDO TU NIÑERA ES UNA BRUJA (SimonKids,2022), ABUELA’S SUPER CAPA/LA SUPER CAPA DE ABUELA (HarperCollins 2023) - two-book deal auction. The second book can’t be announced yet. Ana is a member of SCBWI, Las Musas Book, and co-founder of LatinxPitch. Ana is also a proud graduate of the Children’s Book Academy Picture Book course where she got a Golden Nugget from Alyza Lius to whom she sold her second book - IF YOUR BABYSITTER IS A BRUJA. ​
Find more about her and her books at https://anafiction.com/
You can follow Ana on

Twitter -  https://twitter.com/SraSiqueira1307
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/asiqueira1307/?hl=en
Mark Ana’s book - Want to Read on GoodReads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard?ref=nav_profile_authordash​

GIVEAWAYS
Follow Ana Siqueira on Twitter, promote this blog on your social media, and comment below on your favorite technique to add tension.


     1.  One signed copy of BELLA’S RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
         OR
     2. One Picture book critique - 800 words or less 
Picture
30 Comments
Jennifer Jahn link
12/6/2021 12:13:37 pm

​Technique 5 - Why do they Care?

I probably like this technique the best because I want to bring emotion out of my reader whether it's laughter, sympathy, or even frustration. I want the reader to be on this journey with me, my main character and have the want to turn the page.

Reply
Ana Siqueira link
12/6/2021 12:18:34 pm

Yes, for sure, this is a must.

Reply
Mia Geiger
12/6/2021 12:54:05 pm

Great post! Thank you!
. , , is a favorite!

Reply
Natalie Cohn
12/8/2021 05:28:49 am

I like the technique about making shorter sentences. Thank you for sharing all your other techniques for tension.

Reply
Sabrina Shah
12/10/2021 03:39:54 pm

I think technique 5 is where you can grasp the reader by the heart strings or by fear, angst, worry and all the other emotions by making them CARE enough to turn that page

Reply
Meriam B.
12/11/2021 02:51:49 am

Thank you for sharing!

Reply
Jodelle A Brohard
12/11/2021 04:11:18 am

My favorite technique here that you mentioned was adding suspense by using page turns. I think that's very important.

Reply
Claire Blumenfeld
12/11/2021 04:51:14 am

One technique I like to use in my stories is writing short, choppy sentence with one syllable words and alliteration using hard letter sounds. Thank you for SHOWING us how to add tension!

Reply
alicia m. minor
12/11/2021 05:06:07 am

I like using onomatopoeias because children are fascinated with sounds especially the boys. They loved action! I also go for stakes. This is how we come up with characters of strength, conviction etc.
Thanks Ana. These are very helpful. God bless you.

Reply
Madeleine McLaughlin link
12/11/2021 05:13:00 am

I like shorter sentences to make the story snap, move forward and ...page turn.

Reply
Jennifer Buchet
12/11/2021 05:29:01 am

Ana, funny & brilliant as always! Thx for these essential reminders

Reply
Kelly Vavala
12/11/2021 05:52:47 am

Hi Ana, I really enjoyed your sense of humor! I like the short sentences…quick, snappy! I also like the kaboom, pow approach! Makes me think of Batman! I wish you tremendous success in your endeavors!

Reply
Melisa Wrex
12/11/2021 06:06:45 am

Great post, Ana! My favorite technique is to use those short, punchy sentences. Sometimes I forget, but when I remember, they're effective!

Hope to see you at the SCBWI FL Holiday Round Tables today. 👍

Reply
Ana Siqueira link
12/11/2021 06:54:31 am

Melissa, what event is this? I don't know about it.

Reply
Andrea Mack link
12/11/2021 06:34:52 am

Thanks for a short and snappy summary! I often forget about #3.

Reply
Elizabeth Westra
12/11/2021 07:10:26 am

While I loved all the suggestions, number 5 resonated with me. If you don't give your main character a strong problem to solve n one will keep reading. Terrific post!

Reply
Glenda Roberson
12/11/2021 07:11:20 am

Thanks for the tips/reminders. It’s way too easy for me to get caught up in my story and forget the basics. I love creating page turns using tension and foreshadowing.

Reply
Desirae
12/11/2021 07:54:03 am

I liked the onomatopoeia technique and the reminder to show, don't tell. You made it look so simple and it was a reminder for me to explain literally what someone is feeling in the moment and show that. Or to literally use the sound of something to my advantage to hook the reader in. Loved this article! Can't wait to read your books. Thank you for the tips.

Reply
Erin Matzen
12/11/2021 07:58:02 am

Thank you for the wonderful tips! Heightening the stakes is something I’m always working on. Thanks for sharing! -Erin

Reply
Meaghan Mountford link
12/11/2021 08:02:57 am

I love all of these techniques, but short sentences are my fave. Using language techniques to sculpt a story fascinates me.

Reply
Yona Diamond Dansky link
12/11/2021 01:23:07 pm

Thanks so much! #1 is most helpful right now as I am establishing page breaks for my current children’s picture book manuscript. But they are all good, and I will revisit my manuscript with these in mind.

Reply
Brenna
12/11/2021 02:25:06 pm

Why do they care?
This is the one I have the most trouble with! I am working on honing my skills and writing heart into my stories. Thanks for this post Ana!

Reply
Marilyn link
12/11/2021 05:46:57 pm

Thank you, Ana. Short, sweet, to the point and ...

Reply
Amanda Cameron
12/11/2021 07:12:20 pm

I am enjoying following and reading your techniques so much.....I'm interested in writing a book specific to Children with Autism as my beautiful 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with Autism at age 3, Due to the fact that Autism is more common in boys [1 in 4] the books I've found are the main character being a little boy. My goal is to write a short sentence and page turning book.... I'm excited to keep learning from you......

P.S
Awesome giveaway your doing as well.

Reply
Meagan Dekker link
12/11/2021 08:15:34 pm

This was a great, quick read! Thank you, Ana Siqueira! I like the short, snappy sentences. This is perfect for the kid voices in my stories.This technique helps make a read-aloud easy and compelling. Also, short sentences are great for beginning readers memorizing the story to 'read' by themselves over and over again. I hope I win your

Reply
Karen Hendriks link
12/12/2021 12:08:19 am

I loved the Show don't tell tip and examples.

Reply
Rosi Hollinbeck link
12/12/2021 07:25:13 pm

This is really helpful. Thanks so much for posting it.

Reply
Dainty Nix link
12/13/2021 04:00:31 pm

I think all 5 techniques are important.
1. The process of reading a book is by turning the pages. If people have no interest in turning the pages, then the book won't be read.
2. Short sentences are easier to read and remember. Kids won't get bored in the middle of the sentence.
3. Yes! Onomatopoeia awakens all the senses and bring out the fun and ruckus.
4. Telling a story requires imagination. Showing helps to bring passion for the character.
5. Yes when you empathize with and like a character, you are more likely to turn the page.
Happy Readings!!

Reply
Jen MacGregor link
12/14/2021 08:56:17 am

Short Sentences! I've never seen this explicitly noted as a tension-building technique - thank you!

Reply
Katie Brandyberry
12/14/2021 10:24:46 pm

Great blog post! Very relevant to a story I am working on right now. A nice reminder to raise the stakes. The advice in shorter sentences to build suspense while longer sentences can slow down the pace was great. Thank you!

Reply



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  • Home
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    • Resources
    • Course Scholarships >
      • Yuyi Morales Picture Book Scholarship
      • Andrea Davis Pinkney MG CB Mastery Scholarship
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