Adding Tension to your Manuscript

by Ana Siqueira

I want to tell you how to add tension to your manuscript. Oh, no! I can’t tell you that.
It’s against the rules.


I must show you, right?


Let’s start with a sweet and silly story about a carrot-eating bunny. (This is not my WIP! hahaha)

Spread 1
Bunny Jeo gobbles up sweet carrots.
When the floor shakes.
And he hears…


Spread 2
BOOOM!
Jeo trembles.
FART!
Jeo gags.
STOMP!
Jeo hides.


Spread 3
It’s a Monster Carrott!!!

Now let’s investigate some techniques used in these spreads.
​

Technique 1: Page-turner

TV shows often end with a cliffhanger, to reel you in and keep you coming back for more. Will the bad guy catch the good guy? Will the princess fall in love with the prince? Will the rabbit gobble up the monster?

So you must hook your readers with a question.
Ending a spread with but, when, then, or even ellipsis will pique the readers’ curiosity.
They won’t be able to stand it. They must…

TURN THE PAGE!!!
​
​Now that the reader is hooked, let’s keep them curious and a little nervous too.
​

Technique 2 - Short sentences

​Short sentences full of tension will hook your readers and engage them in the story.


Compare -

• The sweet bunny is eating carrots when he hears a boom, smells a fart, and hides from heavy steps.

 

• BOOOM!

          The bunny trembles.
          FART!
          The bunny gags.
          STOMP!
          The bunny hides.

Long sentences are good to slow down the pace. Short, snappy sentences add tension and mystery. But don’t forget to use the page-turner to heighten things even more.

On spread 2, readers will feel the need to TURN THE PAGE because they must find out who is doing all that stomping. 

Technique 3 - Onomatopoeia and Senses

If you’ve read comic books, you’ll have seen lots of sound effects, right? Pow, Kaboom, Zap, Crash! Words like these immediately grab your attention. Sound effects, onomatopoeias, smells, visions, or any senses can involve readers. And if readers can hear, smell, taste, see, or touch but they don’t know what…Ta-Da! They will…
TURN THE PAGE.

Technique 4 - Show, Don’t tell

Of course, we all have heard and been annoyed by this message - Show, Don’t Tell, but…
[page turner]

Compare:

• The bunny gets nervous, nauseated, and scared.

• The bunny trembles. The bunny gags. The bunny hides.​

​Technique 5 - Why do they Care?

These are a few techniques you can use to add tension to your manuscript. But remember, the most important way to get your readers hooked is to make them feel. If we really feel for this bunny and cheer for him, that will keep us hooked. So, make sure your character is likable and readers care about them. And also, one more annoying question…

What is at STAKE?

Will the Monster Carrot say he wants to be his best friend and they go play in the garden? - Probably not that tension-packed, right?

But maybe the Monster Carrot does want to be the bunny’s best friend, but the bunny is really scared of the monster. - Higher stakes

What if the Monster Carrot tries to gobble up the rabbit? - Huge stakes.


So,


Choose what is at stake.

Make your readers care.

And force them to…

Turn the page!

And if they
OHHHHH! Shout.
Pound, pound! Feel.
Hahaha! Laugh.

You got them HOOKED…

FOREVER! (just an exaggeration for tension purposes, of course!)

Ana Siqueira is a Spanish-language elementary teacher, an award-winning Brazilian children’s author, and a published author in the Foreign Language educational market. Her debut picture book is BELLA’S RECIPE FOR DISASTER/SUCCESS (Beaming Books, 2021), Her forthcoming books are IF YOUR BABYSITTER IS A BRUJA/ CUANDO TU NIÑERA ES UNA BRUJA (SimonKids,2022), ABUELA’S SUPER CAPA/LA SUPER CAPA DE ABUELA (HarperCollins 2023) - two-book deal auction. The second book can’t be announced yet. Ana is a member of SCBWI, Las Musas Book, and co-founder of LatinxPitch. Ana is also a proud graduate of the Children’s Book Academy Picture Book course where she got a Golden Nugget from Alyza Lius to whom she sold her second book - IF YOUR BABYSITTER IS A BRUJA. ​

Find more about her and her books at https://anafiction.com/
You can follow Ana on

Twitter -  https://twitter.com/SraSiqueira1307
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/asiqueira1307/?hl=en
Mark Ana’s book - Want to Read on GoodReads - https://www.goodreads.com/author/dashboard?ref=nav_profile_authordash​

GIVEAWAYS

Follow Ana Siqueira on Twitter, promote this blog on your social media, and comment below on your favorite technique to add tension.


     1.  One signed copy of BELLA’S RECIPE FOR SUCCESS
         OR
     2. One Picture book critique - 800 words or less