Belonging and Significance by Maria Oka

According to Adlerian Psychology, once a child’s most basic physical needs of food and shelter are met, he then craves two essential emotional needs: belonging and significance. It should come as no surprise, then, that many (most?) children’s books heavily feature those themes. 

Take Little Elliot, Big City by Mike Curato for example. Little Elliot is a small pink and blue polka-dotted elephant (off the charts in cuteness). But Little Elliot has a big problem. He lives in a big city and is rarely noticed. It isn’t until someone comes along who needs Elliot’s help (significance) and becomes his friend (belonging), that Elliot finds his happy ending. Couple that with the author’s dedication at the front, “For anyone who feels unnoticed,” and you have a pretty astounding tale for any child who has ever felt misunderstood or lonely.

Another is the 2014 Caldecott winner by Dan Santat The Adventures of Beekle, The Unimaginary Friend. Beekle is an imaginary friend who is seeking for his human companion. Beekle’s entire journey is literally to find significance by belonging to someone. Without giving too much away, he accomplishes that purpose. It is a story that resonated with my daughters as soon as they heard it, and I believe it is not the just breathtaking art, or the adorable marshmallowy character, but the themes behind the story that continue to draw them back.

One of my favorite picture books is The Sea Serpent and Me by Dashka Slater (art by Catia Chien). It is the story of a little girl who finds a tiny sea serpent in her tub and cares for him, watching him grow, before having to return him to the ocean. It is one of those rare picture books that can make you both laugh and cry in the span of a few pages. They find belonging and significance in each other's friendship, and the girl also finds significance in helping her Sea Serpent return to where he truly belongs.

If I were a betting gal, I’d wager that the first book you pull from your shelf would feature some element of those themes. It’s instinctual to write about the things we desire most. So, what are you writing? How will your characters achieve that sense of belonging that every child craves, and that sense of significance that comes by taking action for themselves? If you look at your manuscript in that light, how might it change your problem, your solution, or even your characters? Happy Writing!