I looked at a lot of blogs and interviews to prep for being a first-time blogger. The old interviews ended up being what interested me most. People ask the most amazing things. What music do I listen to when I write? Music? Do I write in my pajamas? There is only one rather dated answer: Du-uh. Where do I get my ideas? Ideas find writers. The real trick is showing up to be found. Now there’s a question: “You lead a busy life, Audrey, how can you focus on writing?” Part of it is just showing up. i keep a quote taped up in the study: "What if the angel came and i wasn't there?" But i've had plenty of days i showed up and i more or less had to bang on the angel's door. Before you ask, I didn’t come to this conclusion on a super busy day, but on a free day after a string of super busy days. I felt strangely empty-handed. As if having nothing to do all day but write was sort of meaningless. Less essential, at any rate, than arguing with insurance companies, finding an old tax-related lease, arranging for repairs to the water heater, daily phone call to a sick friend, making appointments, cleaning the poodle’s ears, paying bills, catching up on email, watering the roses, taking books back to the library. . , well, you get the idea. Get pen or pencil—your pick, and a pad of paper. Write a list of all those things you absolutely have to change, have to find, have to hide or make ready or throw away, have to tell somebody, have to keep somebody else from telling you, have to do. Write them down so they don’t feel they need to keep yammering at you from the edges of the room you’re sitting in. Add a brief statement about any negative feeling you have about these matters. For some of us, this will take a few pages. Somewhere in the process of doing this—somewhere in the second or third year of doing it, we will be reminded that if we die in the course of this day, some, possibly even most of this stuff, won’t even end up on somebody else’s to-do list. It will just fall away. Write it all down anyway. Put the pages in a drawer. Make a mental picture of shutting it away and make that image in your mind small and dim and blurry. Move it to the lower left corner of the ‘screen,’ and go back to the tablet with a clear mind. The next page is devoted to the reasons you want to write. This list is considerably shorter, but it should also lift your spirits. Writing that changes someone else’s day for the better, even for one day, is a rewarding thing to do. And if you do it, somebody will some day tell you they celebrate your presence in the world, and you learn that someone will remember you in a way that is meaningful, if only to them. These are great reasons to write and to get published. When I taught a course in memoir (which most writing is, truly, however thinly we have rolled the dough of story), I realized that’s why everyone there was writing. Most had little interest in publishing. They were leaving a record for their families to celebrate, to cherish, and to be connected to whenever in their lives they’d need that. These are wonderful reasons to write. Once your mind is quieted, close your eyes and think about how good it feels to have written. Especially, to have written well. I’m not talking about writing skills, but about having tried to put something on the page that makes someone else understand. Understand what? Why, anything. Let that feeling flow now. Let the warmth and authenticity get a good hold on your heart and concentrate on it softly. Breathe it. if you like visualization, make a picture of your eager readers, your glowing reviews, your own happy face, and let these pictures fill the screen, bright and sharp. Let that heartfelt joy grow with each breath until you are filled with how marvelous it makes you feel to have written and written well. Let that balloon expand until even your fingertips feel aglow with the joy of what they are about to do. Then put pen to paper and write. Make everything you put down a kind of gentle push for understanding, for kindness, for love. Those may not be the subjects you’re writing about, not in terms of events, but it’s why we write, ultimately. It’s what we live for. Make every word a celebration of that.
35 Comments
10/1/2014 12:15:44 pm
Audrey, what a a beautiful and inspiring post! I love your idea of writing down the things you have to do and putting it away--I'm going to try it and I'll definitely be writing about why I love to write. After reading this post, I can't wait to read your books :)
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10/1/2014 11:39:59 pm
thanks, kirsti,
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10/1/2014 11:42:13 pm
oh, it is !
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Connie Harold
10/1/2014 01:03:14 pm
I've read a lot of essays and blogs geared to writers. Your suggestions for visualizing readers and other elements was refreshing and reminded me of what really works for me as a writer and a reader. Heart to heart. Thanks.
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10/1/2014 11:44:51 pm
glad to help : ) it reminds me too, in the course of a busy day.
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Karen Brady
10/1/2014 01:26:04 pm
What a great post about process, motivation, and meaning!
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Audrey - thank you for the inspiration! There are so many ways we have available to stop ourselves from doing what deeply matters, what may have a lasting impact, by getting caught up in all the nonsense we tend to label as priorities. Great reality check here and I love the idea of "putting it down and putting it away".
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10/1/2014 11:47:31 pm
oh, i'm so glad this struck a nerve. and yes, there are priorities and then there is the one Priority.
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10/1/2014 11:03:03 pm
Very inspiring and insightful post. Thank you for this and looking forward to more of your posts.
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10/1/2014 11:48:10 pm
already thinking about the next one. this is fun!
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Carella Herberger
10/1/2014 11:38:34 pm
Audrey, I so enjoyed and appreciate this post! Quieting the distractions is difficult at best
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Debbie Best
10/2/2014 09:30:25 am
Audrey, thank you for the educational and wealth of information! It's seems sometimes I get stuck in a rut and need some inspiration. Thanks for providing that for me today! :) Thank you for sharing these words, Audrey. I love that you remind us that writing should be joyful, and it should have meaning and depth. I especially love this sentence: "Make everything you put down a kind of gentle push for understanding, for kindness, for love." (Your book Getting Near to Baby definitely does this, and I enjoyed reading it so much.) Writing is a difficult business, and it can be easy to get bogged down in the rejections or the market or all the things that need to be done to sell a book. It's important to remember (and keep reaffirming) why we're writing and to do it with joy. Thanks for speaking to this.
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10/2/2014 03:07:59 am
thanks meredith, and so glad you enjoyed baby. i'm working on a book about liz fingers now and i think that was part of the inspiration for this post. liz can't follow willa jo as a disappointment. so there's a lot of thinking going on about what makes the writing satisfying to the reader. and to me.
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Jilanne Hoffmann
10/2/2014 03:25:00 am
Such lovely metaphors from a lovely writer. Thank you for jumpstarting my writing day with some worthwhile reading.
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Sally Suehler
10/2/2014 04:28:24 am
This is why I love these groups. Yesterday Iwas feeling inadequate, because aat an awards dinner for a dear friend, another person at the dinner asked me what I did.(She was a CEO of something) I told her "I write books for children." She asked, "What kind?" I told her the one I am working on. She checked her Iphone as I was speaking and said "That's a nice little hobby." My friend laughed when I told her and she said "Everyone who has an education has a children's author to thank." Writing is hard and often not seen, but think of the contribution we can make! (Even to CEO s who just don't get it!)
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10/2/2014 08:23:20 am
oh, i love your friend's reply! let's all put that one in our quote list!
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Jenny Turnbull
10/2/2014 08:20:08 am
Thank you for the inspiration and push, Audrey. Sometimes getting the ideas on paper are the most intimidating part, and I needed to read this right now. Thank you!
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10/2/2014 08:26:05 am
we all need that push sometimes. i'm glad i could be in the right place at the right time.
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10/2/2014 08:27:32 am
we all need that push sometimes. i'm glad i could be in the right place at the right time.
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Arline Woronoff
10/3/2014 02:51:52 am
I have read all of your books but after reading your blog I'm reminded how wonderful it would be to read them again!
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Maria Oka
10/3/2014 03:20:19 am
Thank you for this wonderful post! I loved getting a glimpse into your process and the real WHY you write...sometimes I need to stop and remember why I'm doing what I'm doing and enjoy it more.
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10/3/2014 04:48:41 am
it's why i'm here, to share the experience of writing. i told mira that i've moved to a new area, know exactly nobody but the librarians to speak to, and mainly, nobody to talk to about writing. mira said, i have an idea. . .
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Mary McClellan
10/4/2014 09:19:48 am
Why is it if we don't have to fight for a chunk of time to write it seems (almost) less valuable? I love the idea of writing your to-do list and putting it in a drawer. It might be a good idea for us all to start our day by re-reading why we write. Thanks so much for an inspiring post, Audrey. Can't wait for your next one. :)
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10/4/2014 09:40:48 am
i guess we could lay the blame at the feet of our pilgrim forbears ; ) they sound like they were gluttons for punishment. i spend a fair amount of energy convincing myself to do things that are good for me, but i put writing at the top of that list.
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10/4/2014 09:40:55 am
i guess we could lay the blame at the feet of our pilgrim forbears ; ) they sound like they were gluttons for punishment. i spend a fair amount of energy convincing myself to do things that are good for me, but i put writing at the top of that list.
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Mariana Fay
10/7/2014 08:16:24 pm
Thank you, Audrey, for your wise words, filled with humor and truth. I hope to keep reading your blog. There is real quality here!
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Audrey Couloumbis
10/11/2014 01:39:41 am
thanks, mariana. i'm back here this morning to catch up on the reading, and i'm finding i'm part of a really good group.
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